


frivolous possibilities

by yanak324



Series: today, tomorrow, and all the in-betweens [2]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: And a healthy dose of fluff and sexiness, Donna is just self aware and I Stan her so hard, F/M, Light on Angst, POV Donna, because it’s these two and i love them, despite their lack of communication in Season 7, extended episode tag basically, heavy on introspection, spoilers through the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:02:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanak324/pseuds/yanak324
Summary: Donna shrugs. Josh Lyman isn’t her problem anymore - at least not professionally.Everything else remains to be seen.
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Series: today, tomorrow, and all the in-betweens [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055291
Comments: 17
Kudos: 98





	frivolous possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty much a companion piece to [a pathological avoidance thing.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582244) Thank you to everyone who read and commented. Writing for this fandom has been nothing short of joyful. Enjoy xoxo.

Donna isn’t mad when Edie hands her the room key back. She isn’t even disappointed. 

Even if he had come up, chances are something would go awry. 

It’s her and Josh after all. Their timing has never been exactly stellar. 

Besides, even from this distance - a literal glass wall between them - Donna can see how apologetic he is. 

That rueful expression of his is way too familiar and she probably shouldn’t let him off the hook so easily but she’s about eight years too late to be giving herself that lecture. 

So she heads back up to her room alone. 

And they go back to being Josh and Donna or whomever they are to each other on this campaign. 

It lasts for all of ten minutes. 

xxx

Donna realizes she misjudged Josh approximately 10 seconds after the elevator doors close and about 8 seconds into what’s probably the best kiss of her life. 

Based on how skittish he’s been, Donna expected him to be a little careful with her, perhaps even a little wary. 

But that’s not at all how she would describe the way Josh crowds her the second they are alone. 

Or how he’s kissing her now. One hand on her jaw, the other braced somewhere over her head, and his belt buckle pressing sweetly into her stomach. 

She’s barely gotten her bearings when he pulls back suddenly, exhaling deeply against her cheek.

“I’ve wanted to do that for ages.” 

“Ages?” 

His eyes snap open, dark, smoldering and dare she think it, full of possibility. 

“Yes, Donna, _ages._ ” 

Then his hand drops to her hip, and whatever was left of the barrier between them shatters like a cheap piece of glass.

Later, when they’re in his room and she’s standing over him naked, Donna knows regardless of what happens she’ll never forget the look of absolute awe on Josh’s face. 

It makes her feel powerful. 

And reminds her just how stupidly in love with him she is. 

xxx

She moves away from him after only because his heart starts to beat a little too frantically beneath her cheek. 

It can’t possibly be healthy for him, not on top of everything else. So she does it - a part of her wondering if there’ll ever come a time that she doesn’t worry about him. 

When he barges into the bathroom later and asks her how she’s feeling, Donna ignores the pang of attraction and tells him she wants to win. 

It’s not an outright lie but it’s just enough for Josh not to press her for more. 

As she slips out of his hotel room, eyes carefully scanning the empty hallway to make sure nobody sees her, Donna finds herself wishing that he had. 

xxx

When Leo dies, the world tilts just a little off its axis. 

Donna doesn’t wait for it to right itself again. She’s been here before. She knows waiting for something like that is a fool’s errand. 

All she thinks about instead is Josh and the election. 

Except it’s no longer Josh and his wild hair and how good he looked as he undressed her that afternoon. 

Now, it’s Josh and his tense shoulders and how hard he tries to keep the anguish off his face as she drives them back to the hotel. 

All Donna wants to do is reach across the console and touch him, but she fights the urge, very aware that her composure is the only thing holding either of them together.

It lasts until the moment they’re well and truly alone. Everyone else is downstairs celebrating but the two of them find themselves in her room. 

Everything - Leo’s death, the election, eight years of almosts and what ifs - fades into the background as Josh peels layers of clothing away from her skin and replaces them with his mouth.

When he tells her there’s no one else he’d rather be with today, her heart lodges in her throat. 

Donna doesn’t let him see, hiding behind the mask of confidence she’s gotten so used to wearing on this campaign. 

After all, Josh isn’t the only one who’s good at the avoidance thing. 

xxx

The idea for an ultimatum first comes to her when she sees Amy and Josh at Leo’s wake. 

There’s an easy elegance about their interaction that makes Donna feel out of place. 

Like she doesn’t belong in this room full of very important people; at least not without Josh glued to her side.

It might be a residual feeling, left over from years of being his right-hand woman, years being paid to anticipate his every move. 

The fear that this is all she’ll ever be to him forces Donna to put some distance between them; ask CJ to stay in her spare bedroom. 

It doesn’t work as well as she thought it would. 

There’s something in Josh’s voice when he calls from California that gives her pause. 

His tone betrays the fear he has about Sam rejecting him, about returning to the White House without anyone who truly has his back, and it absolutely dismantles her self-control.

Showing up at his apartment might be the most reckless thing she’s ever done - more reckless than leaving him a keycard, or luring him up to her hotel room. 

It still doesn’t stop her from pulling him into a kiss as soon as she crosses the threshold. Doesn’t stop her from moaning out his name as the couch arm digs into her neck and his mouth wreaks havoc on her skin. 

He’s warm and sturdy afterwards, keeping her anchored to the moment, despite the tension radiating off him in waves. 

And it all feels so much like them, so utterly normal. To be here with Josh, half-naked and satiated and entirely too tired to move that all the reservations she’s had, every last one, seems to twine and squeeze around her heart just as tightly as she’s wrapped around him. 

It’s barely dawn when she finds him at the kitchen table, exhaustion oozing from his every pore as he keeps one eye on the computer and one on her. 

Donna knows right then and there that if she doesn’t say anything, they’ll carry on like this forever. 

Because she loves this man in every way there is to love someone and if she doesn’t do something to protect her heart, she’ll end up drowning in that love, choking on it even.

His eyebrows seem to shoot up to his forehead as she delivers the rehearsed lines and she doesn’t wait for his response - aware that she’s caught him off guard and that nothing good would come of his initial reaction. 

The further away her cab gets from Josh’s, the more her conviction crumbles, leaving behind a dull sort of ache. 

She’s been here before too. 

xxx

She learns about Josh’s meltdown purely by accident. 

She’s in the mess hall, getting a much needed cup of coffee when Lou pops up behind her. 

“Did you hear?” 

Donna must look confused because the shorter woman appraises her over the rim of her glasses with a heavy sigh. 

“Sit,” Lou nods to an empty table and Donna has no choice but to follow.

The high she’s riding after accepting Helen Santos’ job offer evaporates like a puff of smoke as Lou describes what had happened earlier at the transition office. 

It’s not her fault, Donna knows that, but it doesn’t stop the guilt from twisting her insides, making the coffee taste far too bitter for the amount of sugar she’s poured into it. 

An awkward silence falls on them when Lou finishes talking, forcing Donna to look up from where she’s picking at the paper cup sleeve. 

“I guess he’ll need a good deputy then.”

It’s the first thing that comes to mind but her former boss doesn’t seem impressed. 

“It should be you.” 

“Yeah well.” 

Donna shrugs. She should be a lot of things, but she isn’t and there’s no point dwelling on it. 

Josh Lyman isn’t her problem anymore - at least not professionally. 

Everything else remains to be seen, and is really none of anyone’s business, including Lou’s. 

The other woman gets it, leaving Donna alone to ponder whether giving an ultimatum to someone with Josh’s current state of mind was even a good idea to begin with. 

xxx

The thing that Donna forgets is that she and Josh know each other. 

That they have more history between them than most actual couples do, and have seen each other through some of the worst tragedies a person could experience. 

_Rosslyn. Gaza. Her PTSD, his before that._

Somewhere in there, she’d forgotten about the connection they had, and Josh might have as well. 

Standing in C.J’s living room with Josh within arms reach and looking every bit like the man who'd once crossed an ocean just to be by her side, Donna thinks they’re both starting to remember. 

xxx

She’s relaxed. The most relaxed she remembers being in months - if not years. 

That somehow makes it impossible to ignore the small weight still sitting in her stomach. 

Josh is strangely calm but his eyes are especially bright as he leans over her, running a finger down her cheek. 

“You’re thinking way loudly, Donnatella.” 

As tempting as it is to lean into his touch, she turns on her side to face him. 

“What did you mean when you said you didn’t need four weeks?” 

He fixes her with a look that reads - isn’t it obvious? 

“It means I don’t need four weeks to know how I feel about you.” 

“And how is that?” 

She knows what he feels, has always on some level known, but she needs him to say it. 

“I don’t want to be an idiot anymore.” 

He tells her, hand cupping her jaw. 

“I don’t care if we never work together but I want you in my life, Donna.” 

“As what?” 

Someone else would get tired of this back and forth, but not Josh. 

Because this is who they are - the endless tug-o-war, the verbal push and pull, and judging by the way he keeps stroking her hair, eyes roving over her face, Donna thinks that just like her, he can’t seem to get enough of it. 

“As my everything.” 

He whispers finally, and her breath stupidly hitches in her throat. 

He says a lot of other things too, important things that she’s been waiting to hear. But first, Donna hauls him down to her mouth and kisses him like she’s never kissed him before. 

Like he’s the last person she ever wants to kiss. 

For the first time in over a year, it feels like they’re truly on the same page. 

xxx

C.J. finds out first by default. 

Her impassioned - _What have I done to deserve a half naked Josh Lyman in my apartment before 7 am_ \- helps diffuse the intensity Donna feels from the conversation she and Josh just had. 

From the sudden realization that _holy shit this is happening_ and holy shit it’s happening today, tonight, when they board a plane to Hawaii. 

Bit by bit, everyone else finds out too, and Donna is genuinely surprised at how _not_ surprised everyone else is.

“We weren’t that obvious, were we?” She asks one night while they’re catching up on work on the couch. 

It’s only been a week since they’ve gotten back but already this feels like a thing they do. 

Maybe because they’ve done it for years. Not exactly this - her toes squished under Josh’s leg, his fingers mindlessly stroking her knee as he flips through a fifty-page study on the federal literacy rate decline. 

But some version of this - the late nights and easy existence side by side - it’s always been there and it’s what makes Donna stop and pose the question. 

It takes Josh a second to pull himself away from what he’s reading but once he does, he almost doesn’t need to say anything. 

If he’s looked at her with even the fraction of adoration now swimming in his eyes, there’s no way anyone would have missed how he felt about her all these years. 

The thought is jarring - almost a little unsettling even - but then Josh’s eyebrows knit adorably in confusion and the surge of affection pushes a laugh out of her throat.

“What?” He asks, staring at her like she’s grown a second head.

Donna doesn’t bother answering him, just edges closer until she’s firmly in his lap and then she’s kissing him. Any objection he might've had seems to evaporate as quickly as his hands make their way underneath her sweater. 

xxx

It’s two weeks later when she finally gets it. 

It’s their fifth or sixth inauguration ball - she’d lost count after the third one.

She’d been talking to Annabeth in a quiet corner about the First Lady’s schedule for the rest of the week when Josh had slinked up behind her, firmly insisting on getting at least one dance out of her. 

It was hard to resist him in that fitted tux, the one that’s looked exceptionally great on him since he’s resumed working out and eating some semblance of three square meals a day. 

And so Donna finds herself slowly swaying in the middle of a crowded ballroom. 

Josh’s hand is low and warm on her waist, and the hairs on the back of his neck are delightfully soft as she toys with them. 

It occurs to her that here and now, they’re not Josh Lyman and Donna Moss, the Chiefs of Staff to the most powerful couple in the world. 

Josh isn’t her former boss, and she isn’t his former assistant. 

They’re just two people, in love and finally not needing to hide it. 

Josh’s mouth conveniently drops to the shell of her ear right then and she grins into the side of his face. 

“What are you smiling about, Donnatella?” 

“Nothing important.” She says before capturing his lips, and it’s funny to her that for two exceedingly verbose people they’ve found a new way to communicate without words. 

Donna would laugh at this, but she’s too busy giving into the thrill that shoots through her every time they kiss. 

Far too soon, the need for oxygen and propriety will prompt them to separate. 

And they’ll go back to being the consummate professionals they are, barely exchanging glances as they work the room.

For right now though, she tightens her arms around him and kisses him just a little harder. 

The moment right here - it feels too much like every possibility she thought she’d never get - and not even Donna has the willpower to pull away from that.


End file.
